2:30am again, the moment and feeling I like. When the world is quiet, I can’t see or hear anything, and no one can disturb me, which makes this moment only belong to me. Sitting on the roof, with the night breeze gently blowing, I am staring at the faint stars in the sky, looking at the beer cans around me which I don’t know the brand, and thinking about the past I can’t return to. Suddenly, I feel there is no star in my world, and I can’t tell anyone the feeling of my heart, because nobody can understand it. I can’t figure out whether this night view is illusory or real, and only several occasionally car horns and the neon lights in the far distance remind of my real existence. Sometimes I remember the loneliness of my heart, and maybe someday I can forget it with a smile, but now I can’t face myself, and the sweet but sad memories.

Now when the night coming, I sigh for the loneliness of my heart, and after thinking it over and over again, I realize that this is only a game of the emotional world and I lose myself in this game. I keep asking myself, can I just forget everything? Can I stop crying or feeling pain? Can I overlook everything and end my sadness? Can I sit in here silently, and watch the view and the people of the past? Hearing the sad music and seeing the night view decorating by the loneliness, I cried. The crying makes my face pale and have my heart frozen. Who can feel my broken heart? Everything about you is carved in my memory, which makes me wonder you were purposely putting up a perfect show in that short time, or just lusting for the tenderness of that moment? At this moment, after depressing myself for such a long time, I can’t hear my cry any more. But in another city, you may have forgotten our past. As you wanted to move on, the only thing I could do was watching you leave me dignified, leaving my heart drowned in the wave of missing that I could never overcome.

This is not the ending I want. With seasons change constantly, I kept moving, and maybe only these quiet letters will company me to the end of life. Or maybe I will hide this feeling at the bottom of my heart or certain corner. Whatsoever, these memories about the past and experience at young ages that could never reappear is part of my precious experience.

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